Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
