What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
