party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize