i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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