I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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