Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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