happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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