ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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