Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Of course I have a pirate flag
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
