Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
