Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
