so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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