I've blown a few things in my day
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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