Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
