Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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