Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you would pick up someone in the library
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
