OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
4 words: hood of his car
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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