..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Even my vagina gasped.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
