R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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