Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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