it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
