just come out here and I will go home with you...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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