yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
