you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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