Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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