38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
