Swine flu. Run for my life!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
