are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
