I cannot find my penis.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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