i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
