i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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