Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
