Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
