no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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