Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
