these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
