so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
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To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
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