Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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