they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
