Umm I'm too high to move.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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