Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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