Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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