I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
