i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
