saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
