you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
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Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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