NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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