He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
