Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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