you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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