..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
