Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
