do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
