Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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