and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
