Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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