There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize