i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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