so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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