Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
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Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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