True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
